For years, women have been told to be at home raising their children, keeping the house clean, food on the table, etc., while men went out and got jobs. It's what was expected for years and society went along with it.
Well, now women are working out of the home–sometimes with two or three jobs, not just one. Things have changed and women have done everything in their power to show that they should be treated equally. HOWEVER, what happens is that women struggle with what was expected and what is really going on in the household.
Women who are still staying at home with their children are struggling with their own identity. They are the mom or the wife but they don't have a name. Being a mom is a wonderful thing, but when you are a mom, you lose that sense of who you truly are on the inside. Should you be doing EVERYTHING in the house 24 hours a day because you don't work? Should you be sharing the responsibility?
Up until January, I was a stay at home mom with an "in-home" business. I went to every school function that I could go to. I did tons of things around the house but that all started to suffer as I realized I needed to find me. I went out and volunteered and found organizations and clubs to belong to where I could be ME.
But how many times have I heard from others that they feel selfish when they do things for themselves? I have heard it over and over again from my friends. It doesn't matter if they are a stay at home mom or a working mom. All of my mom friends who have said this to me have all been told the same thing...you are NOT being selfish for wanting to do something for yourself.
You work a job to provide for your kids and then you come home and take care of them and you are entitled to do something for yourself once in a while. Or, for those that don't "work", you work at home taking care of the house and the children and you are entitled to do something for yourself once in a while.
YES, women have been groomed to be at home, take care of their children, take care of the house. So NOW, women get jobs and are still expected to do the other stuff, too. But who puts that on women? Some of us are our worst sources of pressure. We keep telling ourselves we have to be super moms and do it all! We don't ask for help when we need it and we don't know when to say no when asked to give of our time.
Speaking from experience, it's very hard to do it all! And at some point if you don't take care of yourself, you're going to snap. So, remember this one thing... doing one thing to make yourself feel better is OK. It's OK to be selfish! It's OK to go away on a trip for a week without the kids or the spouse. It's OK to have friends. It's OK to enjoy a nice night out with your friends once in a while.
Remember that you deserve to be happy! Find a little of you, release the pressure of what you THINK you need to be doing as a mom and as a woman, and always find a way to find yourself and your identity!
The pressure of being a woman is hard enough. Give yourself a break and be happy!!